Yesterday a Dell booklet arrived in the mail, advertising their products for Mother’s Day. I’m not a fan of Dell, but I saw the pretty pink laptop on the cover and opened it up. The more I read, the more I was offended by the ad copy inside. Check out these gems:
- Makes it easy for Mom to stay connected with those who matter most.
- Lets Mom store up to 22,000 photos and 9 hours of hi-def family footage.
- This beauty is ready to download movies in HD, surf the Web, and keep Mom connected.
- Good for all of Mom’s projects – touching up photos, organizing her calendar, and sending out the family newsletter.
- Mom can access her music easily, create family albums and more.
- Makes it easy for her to create original announcements and invites.
- Free her from the clutter of paper notes and recipes with this handy digital notebook.
- She can turn family photos into dynamic slideshows.
- Let her enjoy her favorite shows while soaking in the tub or preparing a meal in the kitchen.
- Mom can show off her creative side by turning home movies into DVDs, and sending photo slideshows to friends and family.
- She can shop online, stay in touch, and check email.
I find all of this extremely patronizing. I know they are catering to the masses here, and perhaps to adults with elderly parents. But I’m a Mom, and I use my computers for much more than storing photos and recipes, sending email, and shopping online. I have never sent out a family newsletter, thankyouverymuch. If Dell had a clue, they would be marketing to the real Moms out there, with taglines like these:
- Lets Mom Telnet into a Linux box halfway around the world.
- Mom can develop and test her code in multiple environments with this dual-boot system.
- She can store up to 10,000 porn images, 5,000 naughty stories and 9 hours of hi-def hardcore video on the 80GB hard drive.
- Good for all of Mom’s projects – communicating with key stakeholders, determining KPIs, and rearranging tricky budget allocations.
- Makes it easy for Mom to create stunning slide decks that grab the CFO’s attention and get her promoted.
- Screaming video card and fast processor to support Mom’s favorite games and virtual worlds.
- Small size, light weight and integrated mobile broadband card lets Mom blog anywhere she goes.
- Mom can create a home inventory to keep track of her valuable electronics, shoe, and handbag collections.
- All she needs to coordinate her home businesses, day job, study plans, and kids’ activity schedules.
- …And it’s pink!